Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Wishcasting Wednesday 1.5.11

Today's question from Jamie is

What do you wish to say yes to?

I wish to say yes to myself.  To my needs and desires and dreams.

I spent several years in survival mode.  There were car accidents, and sick parents and siblings, funerals, a friend becoming paralyzed, a friend getting divorced, working way too much to try to survive financially, so much crisis.  When things settled down, it took me quite a while to realize "it's okay now" -- to even think about the possibility of trying to remember what normal felt like.

Much of 2010 was about processing the "it's okay now" of it all.  About imagining a path back to liking my life.  About trying to remember the last time things were going smoothly and how on earth I had made that happen.

For a long time, I felt completely crazy for believing that those times of crisis had literally changed my brain, but since I've learned a couple of things about neural pathways, I'm thinking that I was absolutely right.  Research on the possibility of undoing the damage is in progress.

I need to take this year and focus on healing and getting my life back.  That's what I need, and I'm saying yes to it.